Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

I originally had a post I was going to finish eventually about nerves and getting prepared, but it made sense to post a mother's day message.

As it was mentioned today at church - Mother's day is a very sensitive topic to many people. I wholeheartedly agree. For some Mother's day is a reminder of pain - a pain of longing for a child that they cannot conceive on their own, the children they have lost, or longing for a child to adopt. I've been there and I remember how hard Mother's day was to have come and go. You'd see the pictures of children making their mother cards ("mine" went the alternative route and daddy bought it) and you'd see all these other reminders. To me, even those struggling are a mother in their own and I hope soon to see every one blessed. When people tell me they're not a mother because they're just pregnant with their first - that's not true. You are a mother. If you've had a miscarriage you're still a mother. I'm trying to figure if I can add a thing I found from a friend online who also went through struggles TTC.

Mother's day has other types of pains, but I'm trying to focus on the pleasures. I have one beautiful son. He took 2 1/2 years (technically about a year less, got to consider when my husband was out to sea of course) and one miscarriage to conceive. He's my pride and joy who was born Valentine's day, of all days. Sometimes we get caught up in life and forget how truly precious our children are. He's a smart child, was delayed speaking but we always knew he was bright. Not just because we're biased, either. Yesterday we found a caterpillar that he wanted to keep. We might have - but I found it seemed to be a lot of work to take care of something until it became a butterfly. It was interesting to me, though, because the first words out of his mouth were "butterfly" then "chrysalis". He's so smart and listens so well to what he's been taught! I was so proud. We didn't keep the fuzzy friend - I tried to return him out back and told Andrew he had to find his family.

In fact, he's too smart some times. We were waiting on telling him that mommy is pregnant but we've had discussions about babies and where they come from. I got an ultrasound done last week and so when he saw the picture we just said it was a picture of mommy's belly until we're ready to tell him the truth. (Last time we told him when we barely found out so it was hard to tell him mommy lost the baby. He didn't understand it 100%) I was looking at a pregnancy book and showed Andrew a baby in a fetal position and told him that's what a baby looked like when it was in a mommy's tummy. So today, when my husband got me a figurine of a angel mother holding a baby I commented, "but I don't have a baby yet" (since I suggested a pregnant mother figurine for Mother's Day) and Andrew commented, "No, the baby is in mommies tummy!!" It shocked me, but I think he does understand there's a baby coming. I'm sure we'll talk to him more about it. I think he'll be excited to be a big brother. He claims often he wants a baby sister, but either way he'll feel just as blessed as we do.

Mother's day may not always be celebrated in style. There may be a dirty house, no pedicure or manicure as much as you wanted one, but it's special when you're with the ones you love.


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