Grow your wings and fly away

Dear baby, you were in my womb so briefly but left a lasting impact. Today my spotting turned into bleeding this morning. Just a gush of blood but enough that your father and I went to the hospital to make sure things were okay. The ER doctors didn't have any good news - you measured a week behind still, but had no heart beat any more. You're my third child I have lost and as comforting as it should be, it hurts to know you're with your grandmother now. How I wish I could see my belly grow, hear your heart beat, feel a kick. How I wish I could hold you in my arms. How I wish I could be your comfort. How I wish I could watch you grow. Instead I'm told to keep on trucking. How am I supposed to do that? I planned my life around you and your brothers/sisters. How can I plan a life without you? I loved you from the moment I got a positive pregnancy result and loved you even more when I saw your heart beating away. I miss you.